The Five Rules of Date Night

 “I have a date!”

Remember the rush of emotion when you and your spouse began dating? Remember how “in-love” it felt at the beginning? It turns out that was mostly just a release of chemicals in the brain which inevitably fade. Sadly after several years of marriage most couples just feel bored.

Bring Back That Loving Feeling

I have good news for you.

It is possible to be married for years and still be romantically in love with your spouse. There’s nothing more powerful in achieving this than a consistent date night with your spouse. But you have to follow these five rules.

The Five Rules of Date Night

Rule #1: Keep it New.  Studies show that when we engage in new experiences there is a release of dopamine and norepinephrine. These are the same “feel good” chemicals released during the early days of dating that led to those strong feelings of infatuation.

In other words, don’t get stuck in a routine on date nights. Try new restaurants, new activities, and new places.

Rule #2: Focus on Fun. Date night is NOT the time to deal with “issues” in your marriage or with the kids. Keep your date night sacred…if it’s not fun conversation it’s off limits…period.

Rule #3: Take Turns Planning. One spouse shouldn’t carry the weight of planning date night every time. Taking turns will keep it fun for both of you. And make sure to plan ahead…5:00 pm the day of is not the best time to start planning. I have been guilty of this and it makes a fun process stressful.

Rule #4: Make it a Priority. If you’re serious about having a good marriage, date nights are not optional. The biggest objections people have to date night are #1 time and #2 money. You simply have to make the time, and you can find cheap & free activities to do.

Rule #5: Pay For Memories. Date night can turn stressful when it becomes synonymous with spending lots of money. Allow me to take the pressure off. It doesn’t have to be expensive to be quality. Remember, the goal is fun & connection…not steak and fine dining. When it comes to how to spend money on dates, don’t put the money into the food – use the money to make memories. Seriously, you won’t remember what you ate three months from now. But if you pay for a memory you get your money’s worth over and over, especially if you get pictures during the date.

What an example? Look at the beautiful picture of Beth on our about page at the Portofino Hotel here in Orlando. We paid $3 for parking and simply toured the hotel (for free) like we owned it.  Had a very fun evening, and thanks to the pictures, this date is one we’ll remember for a very long time.

Bottom Line: When it comes to investing in your marriage you can’t afford to make excuses. We all know we “should” have a date night. So make it happen Captain!  ;-)

Committed to your success,


Comments: What has been your favorite date night with your spouse? Any date night “testimonies”?

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